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Render Another Ugly Method

by Mothers

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finanime thumbnail
finanime There's no way I can pick a favorite track here. This is one of three albums from last year that I'd give a 10/10. This album is horrifying and dark, yet it makes my soul feel so much lighter. Cass's (crystalline lake) comment also puts it perfectly. Favorite track: BEAUTY ROUTINE.
raik thumbnail
raik gods, thank you for this album Favorite track: FAT CHANCE.
Cass thumbnail
Cass Like looking into a cold, crystalline lake perfectly still on the surface, but roiling underneath from the thrashing of things unseen. Favorite track: PINK.
elalbert94 thumbnail
elalbert94 Exceptional, with this album they only demonstrate their musical abilities in all aspects. A smooth and melancholic journey to a place that is strange and familiar at the same time. Kristine's voice is sublime and the instrumentation is awesome.
10/10, one of the best and most absorbing records of the year.
Aizat thumbnail
Aizat Such an intense departure from 'When you walk a long distance, you are tired', a wild dark ride from beginning until the end. The slow-fast intense drumming, the hypnotising drony sounding guitars and Kristine's chorus filled voice fits so well together. Admittedly it's not as easy listening as the first record but it's a masterpiece of it's own. Favorite track: BLAME KIT.
beg_sur thumbnail
beg_sur An outstanding achievement of emotional and mental state converted to sounds and structures, rewarding, beautiful. Favorite track: FAT CHANCE.
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Mothers attempt to exist in two places at once - both singular and collaborative, sprawling and concise, present and distant. Kristine Leschper, songwriter and founding member of the project, explains that it is in the space between opposites that she finds herself. The multifaceted is, by nature, fragmented - each facet reflecting a slightly different perspective of the whole. It is in this way that their latest record, Render Another Ugly Method, attempts to gain an expanded view of its surroundings through splintered sound, thought, and image. By conversing with her own experiences of attempting to validate herself through work, Leschper moves toward understanding the harmful and often indulgent nature of inextricably coupling the quality of your creative output to your right to exist.

Render Another Ugly Method is an assemblage of personal vignettes and imagined scenarios that examines consent, escape of the body, power and powerlessness, and the act of making. Render sees the remnants of Leschper and Anderegg, Chris Goggans and Drew Kirby in musical conversation, through cut-up songs that were torn apart and rebuilt over and over again. Sonically, the record is compartmentalized, each song existing in an environment of its own with disjointed linear fragments that feel as if they hang onto one another by a thread.

Fittingly, the album addresses the exploration and dissociation that comes with pushing oneself artistically, witnessing a shift in focus within Leschper’s writing from intuitive and insular to a process that's acknowledging and methodological. This is displayed most prominently on “BAPTIST TRAUMA”, a composition of stop-start drums and shards of jagged guitar whose title functions as an acronym, and is ultimately a dissection of Leschper’s practice and work ethic, self-described as “ugly, at times seeking validation through itself. Additional mentions of work and process can be found on “’IT IS A PLEASURE TO BE HERE’”, whose title is presented in quotes, raising questions as to whether this is simply a direct quote or a paradoxical means of displaying unrest within the constraints of “here”, whether that be body or place. Leschper sings, “I wonder how much you can fit inside a painting”, begging a question many of us ask ourselves - is this enough?

The album also dives headfirst into matters of the corporeal - the word “body” is used seven times, perhaps most notably on “WEALTH CENTER/RISK CAPITAL”, where Leschper asserts: “I am excited by the prospect of living without a body - I am ungrateful and this proves it.” This happens alongside many other references to physicality, and again we find ourselves measuring opposites, dealing with representations of here or not here. Within the context of bodily preoccupation, simple sentences become charged with meaning, questioning what can be perceived as most valuable, the physical or the non-physical.

On the closing track of the record, we hear “you must keep quiet - the hands are the organs of feeling”, a sentiment which is at once directive and dominating, yet it conveys an urgent softness. “MOTHER AND WIFE” uses religious imagery of baptism and the iconographic gesture of benediction to describe a moment of inviolable physical intimacy. Render is certainly most engaged in examinations of “not here” - such as “BEAUTY ROUTINE” where Leschper requests of the listener, “show me a beauty routine / to erase me completely”.

When we observe opposites side by side - here, not here; detached, vulnerable; power, powerlessness - we can more clearly see their exaggerated forms because they become grotesque caricatures of themselves. Render Another Ugly Method utilizes opposing imagery, structure, and mood in an effort to better understand the characteristics of its motifs. Mothers experiment in the space between detached and vulnerable, rend and render, because it is between opposites that there is room to exist.


released September 7, 2018

performed by kristine leschper, matthew anderegg, chris goggans, and drew kirby
produced by john congleton at sargent recorders
mixed by john congleton
mastered by sarah register
artwork by alessandra hoshor


all rights reserved


small and sharp
i stand up
a little white mouse
with tiny red eyes
watching your gnashing teeth
tell me how happy i could be
been meaning to tell you

i’ve been practicing
extreme forms of distraction
brush my teeth as
an act of desperation
show me a beauty routine
to erase me
Track Name: PINK
defective and invariable
we are untouched by it
patrick runs a red light and
i am in the backseat
i am watching your mouth
in a rearview mirror
pensive like a child
my parents blazer

six months and
are you still afraid of my want
sun hot on my eyelids
i’m flinching but you pretend not
to notice
i am reading sam pink in your bed
he says
“living another 50 years seems impossible”
your eyes roll back and
i think of babies born
first scream into infinity and
i am tired

heavy with sweat
when i pull you out of your sweater
flinching with the awareness of a newborn
walk, knowing you are not the last one
topped only by our lack of interest
i would not expect them to notice
you were desperate to feel
like a special kind of person
our defense
buried in the scraps
we fed you
why such casual experience
most days
i’m dumb
startled and knowing at once the answer
slipping it into your pocket
my dad has never talked about
his mom without crying and
i wonder how much
you can fit inside a painting
Track Name: BLAME KIT
why leave it alive
shift your weight
from both sides
until you’re exhausted

why leave it alive
shift away
altered light
make yourself

not the first time
i’ve watched her body expand
a hundred times its size to
contain everything
your subtle detachment
spit straight from the mouth of
a modern blame kit
camouflaged as justice
we watch your facade
retreating inward

i’ve seen them
spit you out
adapt value
bearing almost pure tarnish
image starving the traffic
rake arms
unlearn magic again
bloom all possible torture
into something thrilling
batch all perfect thorns
into something thrilling
silent trouble
render another ugly method
into something thrilling
i wrote six lies
cover me by night
test my indifference
or whatever you’d call it
measure myself against
your postured words
i died six times
in your office, wide-eyed
you say
well you seem quite healthy so
don’t be needy
doctor annoyed by your visit
and god bless the brave men
of western medicine
where the flower
is stamped out
when it refuses
to grow without water
god bless the brave men
one on each side of the head
and how do i make sense of it
your voice somehow louder
the farther you walk away
when i am both bigger
and smaller than
my body
i’ll get so much brighter
we’ve all said it
once over
tell me, are you not terrified
of your body
i’m not mine
turning the words over
in your mouth
you circle once, lay down
you circle once and lay down like a dog
hard to focus
efforts fruitless
mirror high-brow bullshit
sit still and
quietly dissect the motive
miniature when
i agree at once
forget my body
give into
something scary
feel the made-up feelings
it is said so many different ways
distinguish conjecture from genius
unconvinced of my contribution
give all of your improvements
left to contest speculation
near-sighted, safe again
is this how you stay honest?
our mutual agreement
how you stay honest when
i’m on my way out
make up like always
spectators made sense of us
watched parts of you i’d never touch
and how you’re rolling fast away
it’s terrifying
when i touch two fingers to your stomach
you ask if i feel saved
we are in the bathtub
and i am dripping water on your face
when you say
with gods hands around your neck
you felt frightened
but mostly he was
making you come
eyes unmoving
it’s you or it is nothing
is it not obvious
mother and wife
mother i’ve tried
and lately they’ve become the same
the bed that i was born in
the mattress i could die with
like them
you’ve stopped trying
dangerous when left
you find this uncanny feeling
worse than pretense
i am excited by the prospect
of living without a body
i am ungrateful and this proves it
you find it easy to adapt
to an environment carefully constructed
for your purposes
i am ungrateful and this proves it
here you will find it less exhausting
to abuse anything in particular
i am ungrateful and this proves it
like them
you’ve stopped aging
sponsored by the system
we find this uncanny feeling
i am excited by the prospect
of living without a body
i am ungrateful and this proves it
you find that punishing others
provides temporary relief
i am ungrateful and this proves it
you find movement to be
suddenly debilitating
i am ungrateful and this proves it
i am excited by the prospect
of living without a body
i am ungrateful and this proves it
Track Name: FAT CHANCE
more slowly
come here please
can he see
the two eyes
doing our best to sing
you must keep quiet
the hands are the organs of feeling
one hundred
gold night-dresses
flayed open
when i close you open
how many fingers
must you put in my mouth
to muffle my apology
with our mouths open
everybody laughed
fat chance and
under the mouth
ask him how many
fingers he has

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